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Our crew has heard so much about Cropicana this summer…good and bad both.
So we put on underwear and headed on over to Whiskey Island in Cleveland to spock out Cropicana.
BTW-Parking lot is in gravel…so if you have a tough time navigating, or if you are old, stay home cause you won’t like the parking lot.
Menu is hand drawn…though I don’t think it changes very much.
Fish Tacos – Shredded “cabage”, cilantro lime dressing – 2 for $7
Heavy like your fat uncle slathering oil on his belly – this
cabage cabbage slaw dressing was way to thick. Additionally, in my opinion, these fish sticks were straight from the box Gordon’s Fisherman special.
I hope Gordon didn’t invest in Cropicana.
Dressing? Didn’t taste much of the cilantro lime dressing…in fact, didn’t taste it at all. I did spy a lime wedge. Or maybe they were referring to the parsley….oops, I mean cilantro on the tacos. Maybe it was deconstructed cilantro lime dressing. Either way, I wouldn’t order again.
Nachos – cheese, fresh salsa, jalapeno, sour cream, add chorizo black beans – $5
Good nacho! Melty cheese is one of our favorites. #squirtsquirtsquirt
Just wished the staff at Cropicana didn’t prefer stale chips. All. Chips. Were. Stale.
Smoked pork butt burrito – pineapple salsa, lettuce, jack, cilantro sauce – $7
Covered in pineapple salsa, this burrito was difficult to eat. Pork butt well smoked. But needed more salt. Smoke alone isn’t enough for pork butt.
Also-if you intend to be a restie that has outdoors, rest assured your diners is NOT a fork/knife type. This burrito was no one’s friend. Also if you put salsa ON the burrito, it will make the entire outside shell soft and soggy…prone to breaking…causing this to happen.
In order to keep this “together”, I had to cone it. Not happy about that as I had to dedicate one hand to burrito and one to beer. Dude rule-you just can’t mess up your beer.
Please bear in mind that dudes need to keep one hand free at all times:
1. Answer the booty call on our cell phones
2. Randomly adjust our balls
This burrito was having none of this.
In fact, at this point, Cropicana staff should just call it an open-faced burrito.
So lets talk about the people watching.
Reality – lots of outdoor seating, bring your dog or your fat tubby cousin cause there’s more than enough places for both to enjoy the sun.
Lots of buckets of beers being had here with superb people watching action…
…not to mention a plethora of plumbers crack too.
There are some covered seating where alot of boring people sat.
Not going to lie, my favorite moment there was when I spotted this piece of ass…
I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT – I WANT IT
So to review, Cleveland summers are meant to be outside. Spend it wisely and go for liquid lunches here at Cropicana.
Go to Cropicana for beers and sun…and oogle their smoker.
Reporting live from QuarryLaneFarms….